The worst was the domino effect of my dishonesty. Relapse is not just about returning to substance abuse. In other words, actually using alcohol or drugs is not the only type of relapse that exists. There are stages of relapse, including mental and emotional relapse. If you’re experiencing the symptoms of emotional or mental relapse, be sure to honestly discuss these challenges with your counselor.
- Now I was the individual that was contributing to the cans that were being left behind because of my drinking.
- Most deeply, enjoy relating to the world and to your life not gripped at the throat by desire.
- For example, someone who had a problem with heroin might think it is ok to drink alcohol or smoke weed.
I turned around to realize it was the sound of my head popping out of my ass. I realized that I had spent decades being told by my addiction who to love, and where to work, live and play. I had thrown all my passion, blood, sweat and tears down the wrong shute. And when I finally began to chisel away at my sobriety, I was clueless how to manage my emotions or life. With a boat load of debt to clear up, a huge ego to wrestle with and a bad case of “why me”.
I often wonder if I had told my side of the story, would it have changed anything? Leaving it at that gray area is exceptionally hard for me, but it’s something I am learning to do in sobriety. These people know that the days are hard right now, but they endure because they also know that, eventually, they will come out on top. They don’t know when or how, but they trust that it will happen. In the meantime, they do what they must to survive the day. You’ll have some tough days, but they are temporary.
After all, it may seem easier to hide from a challenge than face it. But it is difficult to make any sort of progress unless you can openly recognize your challenges. Steps 8 and 9 require the addict to take active steps toward honesty and the last three steps require practicing honesty on a daily basis. Pause between questions to notice your reactions. Perhaps write down your answers or share your responses with someone else. Allow these questions to highlight areas in your life where you can practice the principle of honesty.
No Addiction Without Lies, No Recovery Without Truth
People often compare themselves to others and think they don’t need to get sober yet. They think they aren’t as bad off as the other person, so they don’t need help until everything is gone. There is no need to wait until the job, money, house, friends, and family are all gone before getting sober.
- The decision to get sober is a difficult one to make.
- In reality, addiction can cause conflicts with your family members, anxiety, anger, and embarrassment.
- Just be sure that your rewards don’t involve drugs or alcohol.
- Dishonesty often traps people who are active in their addiction.
- Mostly being sober is nothing short of amazing, but it’s not always easy.
It may help to pick a quit date, or a day when you choose to discontinue use of alcohol or drugs. It’s also helpful to change your environment—for instance, avoid going to bars. There are also resources such as 12-step groups and recovery groups. If you’re in recovery from a substance use disorder, you already know how much work it took to achieve sobriety, and you’ll want to do everything possible to avoid having a relapse. It may seem that relapse is the last thing that could happen to you, but the truth is they are very common for people new to recovery. Be honest with your spouse, children, siblings, parents, and other family members or friends.
Myth #2: You Cannot Be Around Alcohol
For families that need to help their loved ones become more honest, they need to realize that the addict’s dishonesty isn’t meant as an attack on them. Most people take lies as a personal attack on their intelligence. However, with an addicted individual, they don’t lie because they think you are dumb. Instead, the addiction manipulates their reality and distracts them from the real problems, so they lie to protect themselves. Although everyone is different, there are some lies that most addicts tell. Some say that they can stop using substances whenever they want to.
Be glad you’ve cleared the field so you can focus on getting your wants met in the relationship. Personally, I think of sobriety in terms of the big picture, and in the context of a life well-lived. Pigging out over a luscious meal with friends once a month is one thing, but over-eating daily is another. Bottom-line, if you can’t do something within appropriate bounds, you can’t do it at all. Most of us – me included – know where we tend to go too far and need to establish a more wholesome balance.
The 4 Brutally Honest Truths No One Ever Tells You About Getting Sober
So don’t allow anyone to make you feel that way. This is the hard part, but it’s also the most rewarding. When you do start to deal with your problems in healthier ways (and you will), you are going to feel completely transformed and unstoppable. In my mind, sobriety meant Friday nights alone being sober sucks on my couch, watching Netflix and hiding from the rest of the world who was definitely out drinking. If you’ve spent the last umpteen years being THAT girl or guy, partying hard, struggling through the days hungover, and doing it all again – sobriety means an entirely new identity.
If all of your friends abuse alcohol and/or your spouse abuses alcohol, it makes a lot of sense to fear what will happen next. I don’t think it’s change that you’re so afraid of. If you didn’t want to change, you wouldn’t bother to get sober.
You Can’t Resolve Past Pain
We would need to confess inner and outer wrongs. We would need to trust that honesty can deliver us from dis-ease to wellness and from the uncertainty of addiction to the reliability of recovery. Brian Hyman draws on his personal experience and explains the importance of honesty in recovery. Try to be honest with your spouse, children, and family members about your situation.